WARNING. SKIP ME.
I really want to call my mom and talk this out with her, but being the dumb ass I am, I dropped my phone in water so its sitting in a bucket of rice. This came at possibly the worst time. I made a few bad decisions, some on accident and some without thinking hard enough, and ended up over drafting my bank account several times. Today I found out that the anesthesia for my wisdom teeth removal, which my dentist says is medically necessary, will not be covered in any part by my medical insurance. My dental insurance is covering 1500 dollars of the procedure, which will leave me with 400 to pay out of pocket, and I don't think that even includes the anesthesia. They're letting me pay just $100 of the $400 they usually require on the day of the surgery. I don't even want to begin to think about how much its going to cost me if the anesthesia isn't included in that. Luckily, I have paid time off for the few days after the procedure, so the time off won't take a huge dent out of my pocket. I just feel like such a huge irresponsible mess right now. Its like, I'm 24... when am I gonna get my shit together.
On top of all of that, I'm still super hung up on a dumb boy who straight up told me that he wouldn't date me because I'm not good enough for him. What were his only two reasons? I'm too messy and I'm 24 and have no money in savings. DINGDINGDING. Guess he was right, I am a complete failure in that area. I don't know why its bothering me so much though. Even with Joe, I didn't have this big of a problem getting over him. I cried for a week, bummed around for another week, and then moved on. Maybe because with Joe I hashed it out with him. Got out EVERYTHING I needed to say. and then stopped talking to him, until recently . Now, I'm still talking to this kid on a weekly basis. I have no clue why either. Its like, we weren't friends before we started talking and being flirty. Hes pretty much expressed no interest in hanging out with me, and the one time I called him out on that he chalked it up to us both being busy. Its just bullshit though. It went from us being on the verge of something... to a major life change for him resulting in him saying he wanted to stay close but needed time to put his life back in order before he started anything, to me not being good enough for him, to him changing his facebook to "looking for a relationship" (oh my god I'm 14 for even bringing that up, but really?!) That alone should be enough for me to hate him, right? I mean, I get it... for whatever reason you don't want to date me, so you call out two petty reasons, and then cop out by saying you still really want to be friends. And then, at one point tell me that I "can still adore" you? Fuck that! Seriously! Why can't I just get my mind off of him! I'm the epitome of stupid girl right now, and waste so many thoughts on "maybe" and "what if" I need to block my feelings off. This is just ridiculous.
I really want to call my mom and talk this out with her, but being the dumb ass I am, I dropped my phone in water so its sitting in a bucket of rice. This came at possibly the worst time. I made a few bad decisions, some on accident and some without thinking hard enough, and ended up over drafting my bank account several times. Today I found out that the anesthesia for my wisdom teeth removal, which my dentist says is medically necessary, will not be covered in any part by my medical insurance. My dental insurance is covering 1500 dollars of the procedure, which will leave me with 400 to pay out of pocket, and I don't think that even includes the anesthesia. They're letting me pay just $100 of the $400 they usually require on the day of the surgery. I don't even want to begin to think about how much its going to cost me if the anesthesia isn't included in that. Luckily, I have paid time off for the few days after the procedure, so the time off won't take a huge dent out of my pocket. I just feel like such a huge irresponsible mess right now. Its like, I'm 24... when am I gonna get my shit together.
On top of all of that, I'm still super hung up on a dumb boy who straight up told me that he wouldn't date me because I'm not good enough for him. What were his only two reasons? I'm too messy and I'm 24 and have no money in savings. DINGDINGDING. Guess he was right, I am a complete failure in that area. I don't know why its bothering me so much though. Even with Joe, I didn't have this big of a problem getting over him. I cried for a week, bummed around for another week, and then moved on. Maybe because with Joe I hashed it out with him. Got out EVERYTHING I needed to say. and then stopped talking to him, until recently . Now, I'm still talking to this kid on a weekly basis. I have no clue why either. Its like, we weren't friends before we started talking and being flirty. Hes pretty much expressed no interest in hanging out with me, and the one time I called him out on that he chalked it up to us both being busy. Its just bullshit though. It went from us being on the verge of something... to a major life change for him resulting in him saying he wanted to stay close but needed time to put his life back in order before he started anything, to me not being good enough for him, to him changing his facebook to "looking for a relationship" (oh my god I'm 14 for even bringing that up, but really?!) That alone should be enough for me to hate him, right? I mean, I get it... for whatever reason you don't want to date me, so you call out two petty reasons, and then cop out by saying you still really want to be friends. And then, at one point tell me that I "can still adore" you? Fuck that! Seriously! Why can't I just get my mind off of him! I'm the epitome of stupid girl right now, and waste so many thoughts on "maybe" and "what if" I need to block my feelings off. This is just ridiculous.
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